


i lift my hands to the sky (and i lower the stakes)

by Spicaa



Category: Suits (US TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-12-25 11:08:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18260051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spicaa/pseuds/Spicaa
Summary: Late nights or early mornings always have them at their most vulnerable. Harvey and Donna through the years.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Am I trying too hard with a title that includes a section in parenthesis and all lowercase? Maybe. This was just a little idea I had for Harvey and Donna through the years — hope everyone likes it! Make sure to read the notes after the fic ends for some information and maybe a chance of a second chapter if enough people are interested. All mistakes are mine! Thanks for reading :)

 

**I.**

Between strawberries, whipped cream, and a lot of chemistry, he hadn't done much sleeping yet. The clock was pushing 4 am, Donna was sprawled on her stomach, the sheets covering barely just enough; his eyes caress her hair — wild and bright, even in the dark — the curve of her back and the skin on the side of her breasts.

He still gets dresses, though.

He won't lie — this has probably been one of the best nights in his life, possibly the most fun one anyway — and part of him wonders if perhaps he should stay for breakfast. It's not really something he ever does but — well, it's Donna. Donna, who somehow managed to introduce him to his new favorite coffee. Donna, who's been acting like a moral compass as well as secretary. No — more than a secretary.

Relationships aren't his forte. He doesn't want to lose her.

He isn't sure he wants to face life without seeing Donna every day. They're friends, after all. With very good chemistry. She gets him. He gets her. Or at least he thinks he does. Something tightens in his chest when he contemplates staying and — well, staying. For good.

He can't risk ruining this by staying.

So he takes a deep breath, picks up his suit jacket and his tie and leaves the bedroom without looking back.

In a few hours, he'll be calling Jessica with an idea in his mind — one that could get Donna in his life, for good.

—

She hears him getting dressed and keeps her eyes closed; feels his gaze on her, listens as his quiet steps lead him out her apartment and possibly out of her life. She knows better than to expect a call from Harvey Specter.

She still opens her eyes, though — bleary eyed, sleep deprived, muscles aching but in a good way. She stretches in bed, rolls over and stares at the ceiling. Maybe he'll call her. Maybe he'll want to meet up once he's found a new job and she's already working at a new firm. Maybe he'll try to get her to steal clients for him, or get inside information she'll definitely not give. Maybe they'll see each other down a road in a few years and he'll be more… willing to commit. Maybe they'll get married and have kids.

Donna snickers at the thought. Absurd. Simply absurd.

Chances are they'll never see each other again. It's a big city. His time in the DA office will be a long distance memory and he'll smile when he sees whipped cream and strawberries together because it'll remind him of her.

Of course he'll smile. She's Donna, after all, and she was magnificent last night.

They shared a quick shower — just to get rid of the stickiness of whipped cream and fruits and them — and went back to bed and while she didn't think of it then, she — well, she assumed he could have stayed.

She rolls over, breathes out deeply; it's still so early and it's not like she has anywhere to be tomorrow. The pillow smells faintly of him. She snuggles further into it, because she's so comfortable, and it smells so good, and—she catches herself, eyes widening ever so slightly.

She gets up, a little too quickly for it to be so casual. She takes a new shower, and changes the sheets.

Whipped cream can be so messy.

* * *

**II.**

Donna is very surprised — but not really — when she sees Harvey walking towards her desk at 7 am on this fine Friday.

"You are early," she notes innocently.

"Your dad snores. A lot," he replies.

She makes a face. "All the way from the guest room?"

"Yep."

"Even with all doors closed?"

"Oh, yeah."

"I'm sorry."

"You knew that, didn't you?"

There's a beat. Then Donna shrugs. "He's my dad. I've known he snores since I was like six or something and his beer belly got considerably bigger."

"Your parents really couldn't stay at your apartment while you're replacing the doors," Harvey agrees. Donna is pretty sure he isn't baiting her. "Glad they're only with me for today."

He's about to go into his office, so Donna turns back to her computer. "Right, about that…"

Harvey stops.

"What?"

"Well, they won't get the new doors until monday," Donna explains, cringing a little. "I'm so sorry. You were kind enough to let them stay last night, and I should have just booked them a hotel but what with the renovations I've just been so stressed."

"Okay, no problem," Harvey interrupts her, probably not wanting a replay from yesterday. It's a shame, she could really get the dramatic tears flowing today. "I'll just… buy some earplugs."

Donna smiles gratefully and then shows him the small package that has been on her desk since she got here. Harvey makes a face but takes the earplugs; he will need them.

She puts the tall coffee on her desk too. His name is on it.

"Thanks for doing this," she says honestly.

He takes the coffee. "No problem."

"Oh, my parents said to invite you to dinner tonight," she says as an afterthought.

Harvey makes a face. "Can't. I have that event with Callaghan."

She knew that already, of course. But she had to ask.

"Make it lunch tomorrow," he adds, and goes to his office.

She nods. They're really nailing this friendship business.

* * *

 

**III.**

She opens the door to the penthouse, not bothering to be quiet. Harvey's in one of his free mornings week days, and she really doesn't need to know what — or who — he's been doing today, but she needs his signature and knocking definitely didn't get him to answer the door, so…

"Harvey?" she calls, slowly making her way to the kitchen. Two glasses of wine are in the sink. The fireplace had clearly been used. Donna rolls her eyes. He's so predictable. She can just bet he'll wear the dark blue suit today.

She's helping herself to some water when he shows up from the bedroom, already dressed in those dark blue pants and vest — only the jacket is missing.

"You got the contract?"

"I got the contract," she says, a little proudly.

"Good job," he praises her as he looks it over. "Did you bring coffee?"

"Did you use protection?" she asks innocently. He glares at her. She hands him a pen. "I thought I'd ask Ray to stop by that place I like on the way to the office. Unless you wanted me to bring an extra cup for your latest girl."

He rolls his eyes and takes the pen.

"Or perhaps a bagel?" Donna continues, pretending to ponder the issue. Harvey huffed beside her. "No, a hot chocolate."

Now he stops signing and throw her a look.

"Brownie?" She still tries.

"There's only one girl in this place, and she's about to get fired," he retorts.

Donna gasps. "Goodness, Harvey, I didn't know you paid for this kind of thing."

Harvey makes a face, but doesn't look at her. "I guess I fell right into that,  _woman_."

"I had to ask. In case I end up running into someone else here."

It's an offhand comment, she's just teasing him — and part of her thinks that perhaps he hasn't really spent the night with anyone. She certainly hasn't had many successful dates since Mark.

"She left already. I don't really make a point of sharing breakfast, you know," he comments.

She ignores the ache in her chest as she processes that he did spend the night with someone.

"That would be way too intimate for you," she means to tease, but it comes off a little awkwardly.

Sex is all good and fine, but a meal after the deed was done is definitely a stretch. Donna would know.

His hand falters slightly on the papers and she coughs distractedly. The silence is uncomfortable until he leaves to put his jacket on and makes a remark about the case. They make plans to stop by the client's house with the files before going to the office. She stifles a yawn as they climb into the car — she may be used to going to the firm pretty early, but not this early. She kind of hates that Harvey looks well rested even after having a busier night than she surely did.

"Hey. Let's grab breakfast after this."

She turns her head to actually look at him as she processes the words.

"Sure. I guess we'll have some time."

Harvey gives Ray the client's address and Donna ignores the flutter in her stomach.

He may have spent the night with someone else, but he chooses to have breakfast with her.

It's a good compromise.

—

They drink the same kind of coffee while he eats a bagel and Donna chooses a brownie. She complains about the calories but retorts that her coffee is low fat, so that's allowed. He smiles and relaxes and decides this is a good day. He had a pleasant night, finished a deal and made a client happy, and he's having breakfast with one of his favorite people, all before 8 am.

Life's good.

* * *

**IV.**

It's the third time he's calling Donna and he's getting really pissed off that she isn't answering. Or worried. Or both.

When she does, her breathing is clearly heavy with—sleep, surely. Maybe she's been running or something.

He doesn't duel on it.

" _This better be important_ ," she says in a low voice.

"I'm on my way to see Mike and I need you to get something to Cahill," he says in one breath.

" _What?_ "

"I'm sending Ray over with the files, just scan them and make sure Cahill finds a copy," Harvey explains.

" _Okay. I'll meet Ray at the office._ "

"No time, he's on his way over to your apartment."

There's a beat. Some shuffling around. He thinks he hears another voice in the background, but it's pushing 6 am, so she must be in bed. Then she speaks again.

" _I'm not there right now._ "

He curses inwardly. Mitchell. Her new boyfriend.

" _I'll just text Ray with the address, since it's important_."

He hears a definitely male voice in the background, but he can't make out the words. Harvey shakes his head. "No, you know what, it's fine. Go to your place, shower, whatever. It's urgent but not that urgent."

" _No, it's fine, I have some clothes here. I'll just text Ray_."

"Text me when it's done," he asks. "And don't tell Rachel."

" _Don't worry about it_."

The call ends as abruptly as it began, and Harvey focuses on the road ahead of him instead. Maybe he'll have a talk with Donna — they need their focus and their priority on Mike. Surely she knows this.

He makes a face at himself, remembering her words from a few years ago.  _I have to live my life_.

"Damn it," he mumbles, unsure of why this bothers him so much.

They're in a good place right now. They joke, they laugh. She doesn't seem unhappy with the job. She's not going back to Louis. She's not leaving him. She's not leaving the firm.

She's not leaving.

Still, he breathes a little easier when he receives a text from her not an hour later telling him the task is complete, and that he better bring her some coffee when he gets back.

He can't help but smile at his phone; her priorities are just in the right place.

—

She finds Mitchell in the kitchen when she finishes getting ready, and she knows he isn't happy with her boss calling — it's not the first time it happens, but the other times were during the day and… well, she gets it. It's her boss. It's early. She's a secretary slash assistant. She  _gets_ it.

She's just not in the mood for an argument, and the look he gave her before she left his bed was enough to cause plenty of arguments.

She loves her job. She's committed to it. She won't leave Harvey hanging simply because she's getting some with her boyfriend.

But he's standing there in the kitchen, hair all over the place, wearing an old pair of pjs and she thinks he's kind of adorable.

Plus he's holding a cup of coffee for her. On the go.

"You're an angel," Donna says.

A peace offering.

Mitchell smiles.

"Lunch later?" he asks.

"I'll call you," she says instead, because she doesn't know how the day will go if it's this busy so early. He nods.

Ray is already waiting for her downstairs and she's smiling even though she's tired and overworked and worried about their case. She takes a sip of the coffee Mitchell gave her just as Ray starts to drive away and she's looking over the files Harvey so desperately needed her to get. She grimaces when she notices the coffee isn't as sweet as she normally likes. She can forgive the lack of vanilla, but she'd have thought Mitchell knew how she took her coffee.

Harvey arrives hours later, and he leaves a tall cup of coffee on her desk that has just the exact right amount of vanilla, sugar, whipped cream, and low fat milk in it.

She doesn't have lunch with Mitchell that day.

* * *

**V.**

"You're gonna have to dance with her, you know."

Harvey looks up, a little lost. Mike is checking his home record collection, and he's still sitting on the sofa. Harvey only allows this because he's drunk enough not to care. Very few people have had the opportunity to check the collection, and even fewer have been allowed to touch it. His dad, Donna — and now Mike, apparently.

"Huh?"

"Donna. You're best man, she's maid of honor," Mike explains. "Is this the record Donna accidentally scratched?"

"Yeah," Harvey rolls his eyes. "So?"

"It's tradition for the best man to dance with the maid of honor," Mike goes on. "Can we play this?"

"No," Harvey says immediately. Mike arched his eyebrows and put the record back in place. "So what? I've danced with Donna before."

This causes Mike to frown. "When? You never hang out in the galas we go. When you  _both_  attend, that is."

"We've both attended events in the past. We've danced," Harvey unnecessarily explains. "Went to a wedding once, some girl from the DA office. The party sucked."

"But you had fun?" Mike teases.

Harvey blames the smile and the reply on the booze. "Yeah. We had fun."

Mike shakes his head, fills his glass and sits on the other sofa.

"You sure you can handle it?"

He's joking, and Harvey merely snorts and doesn't gratify that with an answer, drinking the rest of his scotch and suggesting they open a different bottle next. A better bottle. Mike looks pretty impressed.

"Consider this your bachelor party."

Because he sure as hell ain't organizing one.

And he's definitely not sure if he can handle another wedding with Donna.

—

"Harvey is Mike's best man, you know."

"Oh, I know," Donna dismisses Rachel. "I mean, who else was Mike calling? Trevor? Louis?"

"Could be Jessica," Rachel offers, and they both giggle. From too much wine, probably. "So I expect you two to make a big entrance together."

"Oh, you know us. We don't do anything if we can't be grand about it," Donna jokes.

"You're gonna look great together," Rachel says truthfully.

The trap is right there and Donna falls into it. But only because she's too tipsy to notice.

"Oh, yeah," she says, like it's obvious. They're both very good looking after all. She hopes they won't steal Mike and Rachel's thunder, but sometimes that just happens. They chose her and Harvey and now they'll have to handle it.

But Rachel is looking at her with knowing eyes.

"Nope. Don't even start it."

"You're gonna make a big entrance together, you'll dance together, you'll laugh together," her friend sighs. "Come on, it's kind of romantic."

"If you're the romantic type, I guess."

"Well, Harvey may not be, but I know you are."

"On the contrary. Harvey is much more of a romantic than I am. That's why he's still single," Donna shrugs, taking a sip of the wine. It's easier to avoid the issue these days. Wine is much more appealing.

"And you?"

"Oh, I'm just hopeless. You know that," Donna plays it cool and lets out a laugh. She knows it doesn't convince Rachel. "Hey. We need to plan your bachelorette party."

"Oh, no. No, I don't want any wild strippers."

Donna makes a face. "Oh, God, no, that's too low for us. No, I was thinking more along the lines of the two of us, plus Katrina and we should definitely call Gretchen. Maybe Jessica if she loosens up a little in the future. Oh, but Gretchen and strippers would be fun to see."

She goes on with her ideas and decides she won't think about the actual wedding for now.

No use in hoping for much these days.

* * *

**VI.**

Donna tries not to think about the kiss until she's safe, at home, where there are no glass walls around her and no one to interrupt her thoughts or to come to her with a problem. She leans against her door as she closes it, but she lets out a sob even before she can turn the lights on or get some wine.

She  _loves_ Harvey.

She's  _in love_  with Harvey.

Two feelings that are so different and that she had always thought wouldn't go together for them, but they are. So different. Yet, the same. She doesn't think there was ever one without the other. She wanted to know, and now she does, because she's kissed him and she felt a million things at once and a million more than she felt twelve years ago.

And he kissed her back.

He kissed her back and she  _knows_ him, knows he wouldn't have kissed back if he could control it, knows he's so angry at her, knows she's ruined everything they have tried to fix for the past decade, knows that the walls they have built around them are crumbling and yet she can't bring herself to be sorry, because she knows.

She  _knows_.

She could blame Mike, she could blame Louis, but she only thinks back to their recent conversations — to Paula, to the key to his condo, to her wanting more, to him promoting her, to the distance between the two of them even though their offices share a wall and she thinks that maybe… maybe this is the right time for this. Maybe this is the right time for  _them_.

She brings the quiet sobs to a stop and wipes the tears with the back of her hand. He won't be able to run away from her tomorrow. They'll have to talk about it. They'll have to confront the issue, whether he likes it or not. She turns on the lights and moves around her apartment, taking off her shoes, opening a bottle of wine — she will barely sleep tonight thinking about the consequences and she'll end up drinking only half a glass, but it doesn't matter because she  _knows_.

She loves him.

And he kissed her  _back_.

—

Harvey sighs as he rolls over in bed once again. He's been trying to sleep for at least three hours. He's exhausted. His fingers twitch against the pillow.

He can't stop thinking about the kiss.

 _Damn Donna_.

He's all too glad when Paula doesn't stay the night, because he isn't sure if he can handle that the same night as Donna kissed him. He feels dirty somehow; he's second guessing his impulsive question about living together with Paula, and he's thinking about Donna's lips on his and he's thinking that he fucking kissed her back and he's thinking that he needed to have pushed her away but he didn't.

He didn't, and it's eating him up.

Because he felt something.

Hell, he's  _still_ feeling it.

And it won't go away.

He ends up falling asleep eventually — to a fitful dream that confuses the hell out of him, with Donna and Paula and his mother and Jessica and he thinks he may as well be on the verge of ruining everything he has with all the women in his life.

Damn Donna.

* * *

**VII.**

Harvey's surprised to see the lights on in her office, and even more surprised to see her still inside.

He ends up going back instead of entering the elevator because he just… sort of wants to know. They're friends. It's what friends do, right? They're probably the only two people left in the firm, so he may as well make sure she's alright before he leaves for the night.

"Now this is a sight I never thought I'd see," he smirks before going inside her office. "Donna Paulsen working late on Halloween."

She doesn't look up but he can see she's smiling.

"It's not Halloween anymore," she comments, but it's light-hearted.

They're almost back to normal, he thinks. Almost back to the start. He likes spending time with her. They tease each other, and sometimes they drink with other colleagues, and they share Louis stories like they used to. The words are still tentative, but they've had some time to heal. They're getting there.

"You could have worn orange or something. To go with the holiday."

She does look up now, and glares at him. "I would  _never_."

Harvey laughs, choosing to sit on one of the chairs across her desk. "No plans tonight?"

"Not really. My cousin was coming over with her son, but he apparently thinks he's too grown up for Halloween," she huffs. "No one is ever too grown up for Halloween. Jesus."

"Maybe just for trick or treating," Harvey suggests. "My nephew and my niece are still good with it. Marcus sent me a picture of them."

He gets his phone and opens the picture for Donna to see; she smiles brightly.

"You tell Hailey that's a solid costume. I couldn't have been a better Merida," she says.

Harvey frowns. "Who?"

"A redhead warrior princess. From Disney," she explains. He still looks at her blankly; he obviously hasn't seen that movie. "This is the part where you tell me no one could have been a better Merida than me, since I'm a redhead. And awesome."

"She's four," Harvey challenges her.

Donna makes her face. "Okay, yeah. Can't beat that."

"You could be the sexy version," he suggests.

Donna doesn't even blink before replying. "Yes, I love being objectified on Halloween every year. Sexy versions of costumes are what I live for."

"Ouch."

"I'm kidding," she says softly. "Well, mostly." She puts her pen down. "Did you want something, Harvey?"

He shakes his head. "No, just checking in on you. I was about to go home when I saw your lights on."

She smiles. "Thanks, Harvey."

"You want a drink?" he impulsively asks.

There's silence; he waits as she ponders the question, and he doesn't know why he suddenly gets a little nervous. It's just Donna. They've had countless drinks together in his office — and a few in hers. Some drinks in her apartment too. Very few in his, now that he thinks about it, and never just the two of them then.

"Why not?" she says with a smirk. "I may as well finish this early tomorrow. It's pretty late anyway."

"No one said it was easy to be managing partner," Harvey teases her, standing up to get the scotch.

"Shh, Louis might hear."

"Nah, he left about an hour ago. And I had to listen to the pros and cons of pregnancy sex, believe it or not," he almost shudders at the memory. There's no such thing as unnecessary details with Louis, apparently. Donna makes a face as he hands her a glass. "I don't know if you're aware of this, but those two are  _kinky_."

"I wish this was new information for me but that's so plain to see. I mean, you have seen Sheila, right?" she snorts. They clink their glasses together and take a sip of their respective glasses; Harvey leans against her desk, Donna relaxes in her chair. "I'm glad he's happy, though. Louis deserves it."

"Yeah," Harvey agrees. "Makes you think about it."

"About what?" Donna asks distractedly. "Babies?" Her tone is teasing. "If this is your way of asking me to be your baby mama, you're gonna have to try harder."

She's joking, of course. And he laughs it off. "Shut up," he takes a sip of the scotch and feels it relaxing him a little. "No, just life in general. I mean, Louis actually found someone and is gonna be a dad."

Donna smiles. "There's hope for us all, I guess."

The silence that follows isn't exactly uncomfortable, but it gives Harvey a feeling that perhaps there's more to this conversation than what seems. He has the sudden urge to ask her to dinner, because drinks in the office suddenly seem too little for this. But it's late, and it makes no sense.

Maybe it's too late, even.

"Their wedding is bound to be extravagant," he breaks the silence. Donna is finished with her scotch, and so is he. He could use one more, he guesses.

"Oh, yeah. Ice sculptures and all that," Donna laughs. "I'll expect a dance, by the way. I've decided that's our new ritual."

"What, to dance at weddings?" he smirks. "That only happened last time because we were best man and maid of honor. It's tradition."

"You think Louis isn't gonna need a best man  _and_ a maid of honor?" she gives him a look.

Harvey puts his glass down. "Damn. You're gonna be the  _real_ best man, aren't you?"

"You're the one saying it," Donna shrugs with a knowing glance, and he can't help but smile at her.

His phone interrupts them then, before he can suggest a second drink. Ray is downstairs, waiting — Harvey had even forgotten he had texted him in the first place. He tells Donna this, and asks if she wants a ride home — they haven't done that in forever, but they're the last two people in the office and they're friends, and this is what friends do, right? Even though her apartment isn't especially on the way over to his place. She hesitates, only just enough for him to notice, then agrees. They leave together and he spends most of the ride to her place listening to her and Ray catching up. The space between them in the backseat of the car seems bigger than it has ever been.

She doesn't let him get out and open her door when they arrive; she opens it herself, thanks for the ride — sends her regards to Ray and his family — and tells Harvey they'll see each other tomorrow. She doesn't look back once she's out of the car.

The ride to Harvey's place is filled with silence.

—

Donna feels as if she only breathes out when she's inside her apartment, and Harvey is left behind for good. Nights like these, she wonders if they're really back to normal; she feels as if the normal they used to have is never gonna be around again, and part of her wonders if this weird limbo phase they've been since he broke up with Paula is just… time giving them space to be ready.

But she  _is_ ready.

And she wonders if she's up to waiting for him this time around.

* * *

**VIII.**

He's listening to his Miles Davis record and pouring himself a glass of scotch, thinking that perhaps in the past he'd have gone to an upscale bar and got himself a nice woman to spend the night with, when he actually feels pretty happy by himself.

Things have changed, he supposes.

The record scratches, there's a jump and the song goes on playing, though a second or two is lost forever, and he's reminded of Donna, because she's the one responsible for this and he realizes that he could have replaced the disc years ago but he just… doesn't want to.

He kind of likes the memory of her as he listens to it.

On impulse, he grabs his phone — there are no new notifications — and he decides to give Donna a call. It's still early enough that they could have a few drinks and maybe even a snack for dinner. When he does hear her voice, he knows she's not around.

" _I'm not here right now, so if you want me to call you back, say something interesting._ "

"Hey, I just thought we could get a drink and celebrate. I leave to you whether that's interesting enough or not."

He calls Mike next, because he knows the puppy would love to know about this case, but he also can't answer the phone then; Harvey figures that the time zones mean he's probably still at work, saving the day one pro bone case at a time. It's not often that Harvey will admit it, but he misses Mike — and Rachel, too. Perhaps he could arrange a visit to Seattle next year.

He decides to play the Miles Davis again, just because. When he goes back to the couch, there are no new notifications.

Mike ends up calling him about an hour later, and they talk about their latest cases and Rachel and Mike asks about Donna and Harvey doesn't even know how to answer that question anymore.

She never calls back that night.

—

Donna only notices the voicemail when she's on her way to the office the next morning. She's feeling pretty content — she's had a very pleasant night and she thinks she and Thomas might actually have a somehow promising future because she hasn't found many flaws to worry about so far.

He's good for her, and she lets the knowledge of that flows through her being.

But she gets the voicemail.

" _Hey, I just thought we could get a drink and celebrate. I leave to you whether that's interesting enough or not_."

She feels a familiar flutter in her stomach as she hears the words; by the time the cab stops and she climbs out she's still listening to Harvey's voice in her head, and when she gets into the elevator her mood has changed to content to somber. It's amazing how quickly Harvey can have an effect on her.

He's already at the office when she arrives, a rare occurrence, and she's decided to just tell him about her and Thomas and be done with it, but he never mentions the voicemail, and so she doesn't, either.

She's tired of being the one who's always confronting the other.

She's just… tired.

* * *

**IX.**

It's really late — or just really, really early — when Harvey opens his eyes and takes a few seconds to remember himself. The bedroom is dark but he can see just enough to make out Donna's silhouette right in front of him, his arms around her waist and the smell of her hair on his nose. He snuggles closer to her, arms tightening slightly, but not enough to wake her up, just in case. His nose touches the skin behind her ear. He loves her scent. He doesn't think he's ever allowed himself to admit that until now.

But she's so still in front of him that she could only be in a very deep sleep or completely awake.

He decides to try his luck.

"Are you awake?" He asks, his voice just barely a whisper. If she's asleep she won't even hear it.

But he feels her breathing out ever so slightly.

"Why?" she whispers right back. It's a beautiful sound. "Are you already planning your escape?"

He presses a kiss against the back of her neck. "No."

She relaxes against him, her back against his chest, legs intertwined, and she runs a hand over his forearm.

"I'm staying, if that's okay with you," he continues.

There's silence, and then she's shuffling in bed, turning around to face him. Her dark eyes twinkle in the near darkness around them. Her hair is wild and still he thinks it's the most beautiful he's ever seen. She's smiling. His hands bring her closer and she's embracing him too.

"Are we gonna share a cup of coffee in the morning?" she teases him softly, their noses touching.

He shakes his head, and moves his head to press a kiss against her jaw. The way she's so close to him, other parts of him are awakening too.

"We're gonna have breakfast," he says seriously. "And lunch, and dinner."

"That sounds very intimate all of a sudden," Donna whispers against his ear. "We do have work, though."

Harvey groans. They do have work to do. A lot of it.

"Lunch at that place you like near the firm," he decides. "Dinner at my place."

She laughs. "You seem very confident I'll accept that."

He pulls away ever so slightly. "Will you?"

They stare at each other, brown eyes on brown eyes. Her smile turns less teasing and softer.

"Yes," she says, finally. "Yes, Harvey."

They seal the deal with a kiss.

—

Donna isn't surprised that he stays for breakfast. Lunch is skipped because they have too much work to do. Dinner is served in the middle of his living room, with her wearing one of his shirts and him wearing only his boxers. It'll take them another week to be able to have an actual date, and Harvey always stays afterwards.

He stays for life, and so does she.


	2. Chapter 2

**X.**

It's way past midnight and the firm is mostly empty. Harvey mentioned he'd have to work late and Donna brought a few files to his office — if they must work late, they might as well do it together. At some point, Harvey suggested they listen to some music. It would have seemed like a regular evening at Harvey's condo, if it weren't for the glass walls leading to the rest of the firm in front of them.

"You know, Louis should be reviewing these," Harvey says as he stretches on the couch. She's made herself comfortable on his office chair, bare feet propped on his desk. He shouldn't find it such a turn-on, but he does. He's been working non-stop on a merge that she really can't wait to see it done and over with.

"Louis has been distracted lately," Donna replies, eyes still on the file in her hands.

"I know you're the unofficial managing partner but you should give it a break and let him do some of the job," he tells her. "He's gonna get used to it."

She smirks to herself. "He's already used to it. And you know he's not gonna be managing partner for long. Not with the baby coming."

"Are you gonna as soft on me as you are on him?" Harvey asks.

Donna looks up then. "Who says you'll be the next managing partner?"

"You do. Whoever you choose will pretty much be the next one, and we both know you're choosing me," he says smartly.

Donna closes the file she was previously reading, a smirk on her face. "I could have done that in the past, but now it'll seem like I was playing favorites."

"Please. Everyone knows I've always been your favorite," he lets go of his file as well, adding it to the pile on the coffee table. "Alex won't try for the position while I'm in the firm. Samantha knows I'm better for the job than she is. That only leaves me."

Donna narrows her eyes at him. "You just want that office next to mine, don't you?"

Harvey shrugs. "I was thinking we could have a connecting door in between."

"Really?"

"Maybe a hidden alcove somewhere. For privacy reasons," he explains.

"Of course."

"No glass around it."

"Hmm. And would you like a bed with it, too?"

"No, a sofa will do. Otherwise there would be no point in going home at all."

He waits for the retort he's sure will come, but Donna just starts laughing. He's been rendering her speechless more often these days. It's a good feeling. He gets up, walking slowly towards his desk.

Her sassy retorts, however, only got worse with intimacy. He loves it.

"Alright. You'll have my vote," she decides, even though they both knew it already. "Just for the connecting door. And because you'll let me keep on as managing partner."

Harvey frowns. "What?"

"Please, honey. We both know you'll be much better at it if you're me."

He shakes his head and grabs her hand, pressing a kiss against her palm. "I'm not going to dispute that."

He presses a kiss against the inside of her wrist. "Harvey…"

"Dance with me."

Donna widens her eyes. "Now?"

"Yeah. It's your favorite song," he stands up, gently helping her stand up too. Her shoes lay beside the couch since she took them off, a little over an hour ago.

"It's your favorite too."

"Not really. I always put it because I knew it was yours," he tells her, and it's the truth. He loves that she's such a big fan of his dad's music. His dad's legacy may not live on to play on the radio, but he loves that it'll always have a place in her heart.

That's probably a good line, because she lets him put his hands on her waist and she rests hers on his shoulder and the back of his neck. They sway slowly, though there's still a respectful distance between them.

They dance for a few seconds only before he shortens that distance, slowly bringing her closer to him. She pulls away just enough to look at him.

"Someone could see us."

Harvey brings her even closer — her chest against his, his hands perilously on her lower back. Maybe it's too risky for the office, but he doesn't care.

"It's after hours, I'm tired, and I wanna dance with you. I don't care who sees it."

"Ugh, I love it when you say things like that," Donna groans against his ear.

"What, I'm getting a treat tonight?" He jokes, but he's hopeful.

"You sure are," Donna says. He pretends to let her go so they could go home, but she doesn't let him get away, her laughter invading his ears and all the other senses. "You're an idiot."

"What,  _now_  you wanna dance?" He nick complains.

Donna brushes her lips against his neck. "Just this one song. Then we can go."

He nods, and savors the warmth of her body next to his, safe in the knowledge that they'll leave together.

* * *

**XI.**

He's tickling her.

Harvey Specter, tickling her.

Donna doesn't know what's more absurd — that Harvey is tickling her, or that she's actually ticklish.

She's still laughing when he settles on top of her — they're both naked, the first rays of sunlight are peaking through the curtains of his —  _their_  — bedroom. She only moved in officially last week, and it's still in a somewhat limited capacity since they'll be moving to a new place together next month. She's calling this their first trial — two months to be sure they can do this together. Harvey rolls his eyes every time she says that.

He puts his elbow on either side of her head and looks down at her.

"No," Donna says when she stops laughing.

"I haven't said anything," Harvey says innocently, too innocently.

"You don't have to. I see it right in those bedroom eyes of yours, Mister," she runs a hand through his hair. "No more rounds for the next two hours or so. We've been like this for…" she searches for the clock on his bedside table. "Three hours. I need sleep, you know."

"We'll sleep when we're dead," Harvey tells her, before attacking her neck with his lips.

She laughs. She doesn't think she's laughed so much in years. "Stop it. God, you'd think we're in our twenties or something."

"You'd hate me in my twenties."

"Correction. I hated you in your twenties."

"Not what you said the other time," he mumbles, nibbling her ear.

"I liked you then. I love you now," she says softly. He pulls away just enough to kiss her lips. "Hey. I need some water. You want anything?"

He doesn't reply for a few seconds. "Nah, just you."

His hesitance seems a little off, but she laughs and pushes him away from her. He lies on his back, and she knows he's watching her as she grabs her satin robe from the floor. "No peaking," she taunts him as she ties the dark red robe around her waist. She turns around to see him with his arms behind his head, watching her leisurely. She picks her dress from the floor and throws it at him. "Bad boy."

"You gonna punish me later?" He arches his eyebrows suggestively, and she shakes her head and decides she should leave now before he makes her reconsider.

She tries not to notice the state of disarray the apartment is in — some of her furniture looks disconnected to the place, but it's slowly taking shape. She snickers when she notices the her shoes and his suit jacket over the floor near the kitchen, and then his tie next to the couch. They had been in a hurry when they got home earlier this morning.

What can she say, weddings put them in a mood. And if she had thought Rachel and Mike's wedding had been fun, Louis' ended up being so much better. At least where Harvey was concerned.

She drinks the water slowly, and decides to prepare some coffee — it wouldn't hurt, surely. They had a whole Sunday ahead of them.

"You coming back anytime soon?" Harvey asks from the bedroom.

"I'm trying to keep this condo from falling apart, you know!" She jokes as she picks the shoes and the tie from the floor.

She sees him getting up from bed and going to the bathroom, and they share a smile — her gaze pointed at the mess they had made last night. She picks his jacket next, but frowns when something falls from it in a quiet thump on the floor. Just as she bends to pick whatever it was that fell, she freezes.

It's a little velvety box.

The kind that she knows very well.

She picks it up, looking around — Harvey's still in the bathroom — and opens it to reveal a diamond ring on the inside. A  _big_  diamond. She loves it.

The items she's holding in her other hand fall on the couch next to her. She's still staring at the ring when Harvey enters the living room.

"Babe, have you seen my—"

Her gaze shifts from the ring to him. Her hand is trembling a little.

"You found it."

It's a statement. Donna watches as he walks over to her.

"So I did," she smiles, then purses her lips. She blinks once, twice, because she should have seen this coming. She did see this coming, she was sure it would happen soon but — she isn't prepared when it does. "I suppose you should be asking me a question?"

"Do I need to?" He stops in front of her. She reaches her free hand to touch him — on his chest, and then his hand covers hers there. He raises their hands to his lips to kiss her palm.

Donna lets out a laugh. "Not really, but I really want you to."

"I won't go down on one knee. That's lame."

"Please. That's very unnecessary."

"Alright then. Donna," he steps closer to her. She can't look away from him. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

He's smiling as he says it, the corner of his eyes crinkling, and they're standing in the middle of his living room in a complete state of disarray — she's only wearing a robe and he's only in his boxers and the coffee machine is kind of loud. It's not the most grand proposal she's ever seen and she realizes this is the most perfect for her anyway. She closes her eyes for a moment because it's suddenly too much — even his words are too perfect to be true.

"If you don't say yes you won't get this ring. You know you want the ring," Harvey jokes.

Donna laughs, opens her eyes. She feels a tear run down a cheek, and then another.

"I do want the ring," she admits. "I want you more, though."

"So?"

"Yes. Of course!" She says, obviously. He gets the box from her hand and puts the ring on her finger easily. She doesn't even stop to admire it before pulling him closer for a kiss.

He embraces her so completely she thinks she's melting into him a little.

"I love you," he whispers against her ear.

"I love you too," she says right back at him.

Donna takes the opportunity to extend her arm and look at the ring on her finger. Just gorgeous. Even better now that she's wearing.

"You're looking at the ring now, aren't you?"

Donna snickers. "So what if I am?"

He pulls away just enough to look at her.

"Is it big enough for you?" He asks suggestively.

"Oh, yes. A perfect fit," she says immediately. Then she frowns. "Wait. Were you planning to propose to me during Louis and Sheila's wedding?"

"No—"

"Because that's so cheesy, Harvey."

He glares at her.

"Of course not. Ray had it in the car with him, I got it on the way back home," he explains. "I was gonna do it when we got here, but then you jumped on me…"

"I totally didn't."

"...completely out of control…"

"I really wasn't."

"So I forgot."

"You forgot to propose?"

He looks too sheepish to be joking.

"You've had this ring for a month and you forgot to propose?" She repeats.

"Hey, you know how I get when you do that thing."

"I am pretty good, I will give you that."

"Wait, you  _knew_  I had the ring for a month?"

Now it's her turn to look sheepish. "You know I have access to your bank records."

His glare doesn't waive.

"And I suspected you'd do this so I may have been checking every now and then," Donna admitted.

"But you hadn't seen the ring?"

"You mean when it was hidden in your socks drawer? No, of course not."

"Donna…"

"I didn't look! I swear," she says honestly, wrapping her arms against his neck again. "I wanted to be surprised."

"So nice of you to  _let_  me surprise you," he mumbles against her skin.

"Hmm, you love it," she smiles against his lips. "Let's go back to bed. I'll do that thing you like."

"You said you didn't want any more sex this morning," Harvey teases her when she tries to get him to  _move_.

"You hadn't proposed to me then. Everything's changed," Donna says impatiently.

"So now you wanna have sex because of the ring and not me?"

"You're definitely the emotional one of this relationship."

They stare at each other, challenge in their eyes.

They don't know who yields first, because they more or less start kissing each other frantically at the same time, and then both her robe and his boxers join the rest of the clothes in the living room.

He'll help her tidy the place in a few hours.

* * *

**XII.**

Their new place is a penthouse — two floors, lots of glass, four and a half bedrooms they'll have to put to use somehow. Harvey's pretty used to great views — he loves the one in his office, and the reason why he bought his old condo was the view alone. But there's something to be said about seeing Donna wearing one of his dress shirts and leaning against the balcony of their bedroom.

The sun's just risen and it's their first night back after the honeymoon — a small wedding followed by a long honeymoon had been their choice. He took her to the Seychelles and the sunny days have done them well. It's good to be home, though.

She turns when he crosses the doorway, as always in tune with his movements. She accepts the cup of coffee he's brought her and he settles behind her, one hand on her waist while the other holds his own cup. She leans against him, red hair tickling his jaw.

"You know, you can stop stealing my shirts now that we're married," he comments. It's kind of chilly this morning, he isn't sure how she's handling with her legs bare like this. Below, New York begins to wake up.

"Now why would I do that, if it turns us both on?" Donna asks, raising an arm to look at his initials embroidered on the cloth. "You've always wanted to mark me as your own, admit it."

"Hey, you're the one who decided to change your name," Harvey says, pressing his lips against the crown of her hair.

"I haven't changed it yet. Maybe I'll wait a little."

"You want to leave clients surprised when they find out we're married, don't you?"

"Maybe I do," she turns around, pressing her lips softly against his, leaning against the wall. "I just want people to still take me seriously, you know. It was bad enough when we weren't together and they accused me of sleeping with you."

"Anyone who knows you just a little knows that you have more than earned your place," he tells her seriously, though he's said it before. "Come on. You know that."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just not used to being insecure," she jokes, but he knows her.

He kisses her again. "We got this."

Not  _you_ ;  _we_.

They've always been one and the same, in a way. Now it's just more official.

* * *

**XIII.**

He wakes to the sound of jazz playing. Not super loud, but it's enough to wake him up. From the second floor, he sees Donna in the living room, sitting in her favorite chair, a book on her lap — he briefly thinks of his old condo and its minimalism. Their penthouse is a combination of them both: glass walls, plants, a colorful wall here and there but mostly, white. He's been pushing Donna for a dog because he thinks that will be fun, but they have enough on their plates right now.

He walks down the stairs and that's when she notices him.

"Hey."

She smiles, but she looks tired. "Hey."

"You okay?" he sits down on the couch next to her.

"Yeah, she's just been kicking all night," she closes the book and sat up straight, a hand on her growing belly. "Pressing against my bladder. And ribs. It's like she's everywhere. Jesus."

He can't help but smile. "Only a couple more weeks to go."

"I'm gonna be so happy when she's out. I mean, I always would have been happy, but the discomfort is really pushing me towards ecstatic," Donna jokes. "Did we talk about having two? Because I'm not so sure about that second one."

"They say you'll miss the pregnancy when she's here," Harvey says.

"Hmm. Maybe."

"What's with the song?"

"Oh, I figured I'd try something. And I was right, as usual," she tells him proudly, a hand rubbing her stomach over her nightgown. "She's asleep."

He reaches over to place his hand above hers. "Hey. Stop bothering Mommy."

Then he smiles at her.

Donna lets out a laugh. "Oh, I'm sure that was all it will take for this to stop. You and your stern tone of voice. As if you'll ever use it with her."

Harvey frowns. "Are you suggesting I'm gonna be the easy parent?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. I know you're gonna be the easy parent," Donna says. "Come on, help me up."

"You think you can sleep now?" He asks, but stands up and offers her his hands.

"Not really. But sex helps accelerate the whole birth process."

"I don't think that's a thing until a few weeks.

She looks pointedly at him. "Well, we can try."

"You sure know how to seduce a guy."

He still follows her, though.

* * *

 

**XIV.**

Donna keeps her eyes closed, but still hears when he gets out of the bed to get ready for work. She doesn't want to open her eyes and look at the time, but she thinks it's probably still pretty early, so Donna buries deeper into the blankets and ignores the sounds around her — the shower running, Harvey going around his closet to get dressed. She feels the ghost of a kiss on her forehead and tries to smile, but she doesn't think she's able to; she just snuggles into his pillow and falls asleep again.

She isn't sure how much time has passed when she feels a tiny palm on her cheek, and her brain briefly registers that it's actually Sunday, not Monday, and Harvey wouldn't be leaving for work at all. She opens her eyes and smiles when she sees the big brown eyes staring back at her — she reaches for the baby, rolls on her back; Elizabeth's other hand touches her other cheek and Donna touches their noses together. The baby laughs.

"Did your daddy leave you here to fend for yourself?" Donna asks, kissing Elizabeth's cheek and sitting up — her eyes meeting Harvey's as he looks at them from the foot of the bed. He's already wearing his jogging clothes, and probably thought it was best to wake her up instead of waiting for Elizabeth to do it through the baby monitor.

"Her daddy wanted to surprise her mommy," Harvey says instead, crouching down and picking something from the floor.

A tray with enough food to last a day, at least. Donna gives him a look.

"You didn't have to."

"Just accept that I can surprise you every now and then," he says. She sits up, accepts the tray and adjusts the baby on her lap. Elizabeth immediately reaches out for a strawberry, a favorite of hers. "Look at that. A little strawberry eating a strawberry."

Donna runs her fingers through Elizabeth's hair, so like her own, then reaches for the coffee first — as always. Harvey always gets it right. She narrows her eyes at him. "Is this because we didn't get to go to Del Posto last night? Because I thought pizza and taking care of a teething baby was a good way to celebrate."

"Who says that isn't?" his eyes are twinkling. He, too, steals a strawberry. Like father, like daughter.

"It's the first year we skipped it."

"For a good reason. We can take her when she's older," he suggests. Donna nods, reaching for the bagel now. "We're going tonight, actually," he announces. Donna frowns, looking briefly at the baby, who is happily munching on the strawberry. "Don't worry, I spoke to Louis and we settled a playdate between her and Oscar. Just for a few hours."

"Has Louis told Oscar to ask for her hand in marriage yet?"

"He has tried."

Elizabeth chooses this moment to spit the remaining of the strawberry onto the tray. Donna gets a napkin, and Harvey laughs. 

"Daddy won't let that happen, baby, don't worry," he picks the baby up, and she complains — either wanting to be close to food or to Donna. Harvey settles for sitting next to his wife, Elizabeth between them.

"So... breakfast in bed, Del Posto tonight. If we weren't married I'd think you were going to propose," she jokes. "What are you playing at?"

"Can't a guy woo his wife every now and then?"

"Oh, he can. He _should_ ," she adds. "Louis has offered us the whole night, hasn't he?"

"Yep."

"We haven't had one of those in _so_ long," Donna groans in delight. "Never thought Louis would be helping our sex life."

"I thought we were just gonna rest and catch up on sleep."

She glares at him; he's already laughing. Elizabeth's disinterest in the food and recent interest in Donna's hair tells her she's already eaten. Harvey pretends to steal her nose and she giggles and giggles — and Donna is able to have breakfast quietly, although the occasional little foot ends up hitting her while father and daughter play together. It's a weird sight, sometimes — weird, but completely right. It just sometimes downs on her that they've really come this far — over a decade and a half together, and this is where it all led.

"Aren't you going to run today?" Donna asks as Harvey is blowing raspberries on Elizabeth's stomach, a smile playing on her face as she watches the scene. 

Harvey makes a face, as if he's only just remembered he was supposed to run. He looks at Donna, then at the baby — who is obviously expecting more playing, from the way her eyes are sparkling in anticipation.

"Nah, I got more important things to do," he says, finally, and Donna can't resist giving him a kiss.

It's a stay in bed kind of Sunday, anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone is wondering, the sections follow the show in more or less exact places, so if you're curious or just want to make sure you get it, this is what it's like:
> 
> I. The Other Time
> 
> II. Pre-show, I place it about a year before the show starts.
> 
> III. Between seasons 3 and 4.
> 
> IV. Between seasons 5 and 6.
> 
> V. Set right after 6.13.
> 
> VI. Set right after the kiss in 7.10.
> 
> VII. Between 8.10 and 8.11.
> 
> VIII. Set right at the end of 8.13.
> 
> IX. Right after 8.16. Obviously ;)
> 
> I may have written a few more sections that would work as kind of a sequel to this but I felt like it ended perfectly in this last section... thoughts? Should I add a chapter 2 to this? Let me know! :)


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